Seven Spirits of Advent

Seven moments to squash my inner Scrooge

  • the Rotary  Club Santa-in-his- sleigh float coming by our house with ridiculously loud and jolly music,  grown men in daft costumes jingling past and my sons in their twenties going out to look
  • a friend’s gift of a white swan’s feather, carefully retrieved from the river, tagged and dedicated to my writer self
  • a beautiful boy in his adoring grandmother’s arms, wide-eyed and serious with delight – he pointed at the Christmas party guests and a model Father Christmas, wanting each named and remembered
  • a shy smile from a gentle giant of a shop assistant when  I gave him a teeny gift of chocolates because his wit and good humour had delighted me all year
  • unabashedly belting out Christmas carols – and people being kind enough to say they enjoyed it
  • the pause of reflective quiet after two lovely opera singers sang Rutter’s Angel Carol at the Beach House
  • the light from the Cathedral pouring colour out onto the snow

Open Letter to Jeremy Hunt MP, John Penrose MP and Ed Vaizey MP

Dear Sirs,

In your roles as Ministers at the Department of Culture, Media and Sport I would like you to reconsider your position on the closure of small local libraries, and school libraries. As a primary school teacher for over a decade, a parent and a children’s writer, I believe your Department must step in and  prevent wide-spread  destruction of these esssential local facilities.

If you wash your hands of this you are saying that:

  • you don’t care about children who have no books at home , in fact, you don’t care about anyone who has no other access to books
  • you think the excitement and specialness of entering a physical world of ideas isn’t important for lots of children or adults
  • you want children to see reading as only  something you do to fill in worksheets at school
  • you think Library events such as Toddlers’ Storytime, talks to the elderly about nutrition and drop-in sessions for people for whom English is an additional language no longer need the space they have been used to
  • you think writers don’t want small local spaces to work in and connect with their readers – without commercial pressure
  • you don’t think support for adults who find reading and writing a real challenge needs to be done at an approachable  local level
  • you think it will be OK for people who haven’t got their own transport to have to travel miles to find a library that is still open
  • you think it will be acceptable to expect people  who have got transport to travel miles
  • you think people in bed & breakfast accommodation don’t need anywhere to go and learn, that the homeless have  no right to books,
  • you think only people who can pay should have a safe and comfortable environment in which to read study and meet others nearby
  • you think people who have no internet access don’t need any learning facilities near them
  • In short you don’t care about libraries and everything they do, you just want money to be saved at the expense of our culture.

Yours

        Philippa R. Francis,  MA (Hons ) Primary Education,  BA (Hons) English Literature

I am far from the only one to feel this way, please read these

Whether the weather …

Going for a walk in the November cold snap brought the following pleasures:

  1. saying good afternoon to a very well-dressed older lady wearing a Russian princess hat. I am not sure which was more Imperial – her deportment or the wolf curled up on her head.
  2. glancing at the crumpled pond, holding in its fixed ripples a scarlet leaf like a flattened flame.
  3. tracing the crystallised condensation on the glasshouse windows: tracks furred with quartz.
  4. vandalising panes of ice on a roadside puddle.
  5. rushing down to a brushed-steel sea, calm against an eggshell sky and the promise of snow.
  6. breathing in the freshest of air – it pinches below the nostrils and I think ‘That’s killed a few germs’.
  7. hoovering up the smells of woodsmoke, maybe apple; soup from the surfers’ cafe and cinnamon-scented hot chocolate.
  8. passing lighted windows in the evening,  feeling the pledge of homely warmth to come.
  9. coming home with the glittering stars thrown in front of a haze-free moon.
  10. sipping hot tea and chomping butter-dripping crumpets by the fire.

Seven things in Seven Weeks

1. Coffee is necessary – or any substance that keeps me attentive enough to learn about semiotics, transitions and why the passive voice is A Bad Thing.

2. Sleep is not as necessary as I thought. Sheer delight and interest in this writing lark can keep you going – though sometimes it’s down to dogged persistence. (Why do I have images of the Fellowship leaping from falling pillar to falling pillar in Moria in Peter Jackson’s film of ‘The Lord of the Rings’ playing in my head as I write this?)

3. Everything that tells a story is worth thinking about – Foyle’s War, the songs of Noel Coward and Tom Lehrer, the opening of the children’s film ‘Robots’, even the Archers. It’s got to the point where I watch an advert and think, ‘Well they don’t waste their time on flashbacks and psychonarration much, do they?’

4. Many creative people are really generous – with their time, their knowledge and their encouragement. It’s amazing how supportive people can be: quotations to help my academic work from Bel Mooney and Susan Hill; lifts from Greg Mosse, Jean Levy and Kerry Edwards  – and so many people at West Dean College who have taken an interest.  The other writers on my course are a great bunch who put up with my interruptions, stupid questions and me bombarding them with half-formed piffle to read with good grace.  Thanks Abla, Anita, Carol, Dana, Davy, Helen,Kerry , Jean, Joe, John, Lucy, Olivia, Susie and Suzanne .

5. Weird has its place in the scheme of things – I don’t feel quite so out of place in a setting where making giant apples out of willow is encouraged, where the Principal Rob Pulley  scoots round on the wheelie chairs with as much enthusiasm as the rest of us in our long  gallery and where 20’s  Surrealism is a frontrunner for the Christmas Party theme.

6. Being properly edited hurtsbut it does you a power of good; which does make it sound rather like having your tonsils and adenoids out, admittedly. As yet I haven’t much idea of how my work is likely to be perceived by a reader, so seeing the error of my ways (useless gerunds, non sequiturs and editorialising) has been a salutary experience. Bring it on!

7. Writing well is a really emotional business – and the community at WDC is such a blessing. You would be amazed how a little wave from Kate Mosse, or a kind enquiry from Roger Bown, or a smile from  Stephen  & Martin the Security men can make such a difference.

What I did on my weekend

I have:

  1. critiqued three other writers on Friday evening and listened to their comments on my work ( the embroidery scene in Municipal Moon)
  2. learned about incorporating magical elements in junior fiction on Saturday morning with Linda Chapman
  3. interrogated an industry panel about the future of children’s books after coffee
  4. had steam coming out of my ears about gender stereotyping
  5. had a one to one with Rebecca Hill of Usborne Young Fiction at lunchtime (she would like to see a reworked 13th Pharaoh)
  6. considered a sense of place with Marcus Sedgwick ( and got him to sign my book)
  7. worn a tiara for the 10th anniversary party on Saturday night/Sunday morning
  8. stayed up too late
  9. honed a pitch for The 13th Pharaoh and tried it out on Jasmine Richards of OUP on Sunday morning
  10. tried to get my head around the use of social networking for writers
  11. read out my there-and-then attempts  in a workshop on character using dialogue, mini pen portraits and confrontation, with Miriam Halahmy after lunch
  12. sold an awful lot of badges
  13. laughed a lot
  14. chatted even more
  15. cried ’cause I had to come home

That’ s the Winchester SCBWI conference for you.

Pretty in Pink

I want you to think of the tiny, slightly shiny and  ribbed nails on a baby’s fingers, how fragile they are.

Or the tiny dotty patterns that emerge from the grey stripes as you cook a King Prawn.

What about the inside of a conch, smooth as polished marble and translucent?

Just look at the soft ears of a rabbit back lit on the chalk downs or the dainty five-petalled flowers of purslane, each striped with white like stars.

Seaside rock with Scarboro’ all the way through and flamingos standing on one leg with their tails tinted the colour of boiled shrimps .

Consider the pinks, those oh-so-scented little sisters of the carnation with their painted eyelashes and frilled edges – and fat cabbage roses dropping silky petals on the lawn.

Ponder upon peonies, so oriental, sumptuous and heavy;  gladioli – those gorgeous drama queens and the lovely moth orchid.

Who could leave out Sakura, Cherry Blossom – so beautiful and evanescent that the Japanese have a festival just to look at it? 

Remember the dangling fuchsia, like earrings or fairy ballerinas, and the stong broad stems of Yorkshire rhubarb that tint your pink champagne.

Imagine grenadine syrup with its treacly glow  and the inside of pomegranates faceted like jewels: the sudden rosy flare of lithium in fireworks and the swift blush of a snowy day upon your cheek.

Can you bring to mind Eton mess and cranachan and strawberry jelly? Moulded heaps of blancmange to make you giggle and the best roast beef. Beetroot juice and the wiggly lines in Raspberry Ripple.

Saris and salwar khameez trimmed with gold. Corals too precious to wear and coconut ice and sweet luscious lips.

Baby Amazon dolphins, piglets and the noses of kittens.

Think pink and think of lovely things that we are given to appreciate for just a little while.

Think pink and think of The Breast Cancer Campaign.

Think pink and think of Ines.

 

Dedicated to teenage sons everywhere

Job Description

Domestic Dishwasher Operative (DDO)

The holder of this post will

  • empty the dishwasher within 15 minutes ( quarter of an hour) of being asked
  • put all dishes, plates, pots and pans away in their correct places
  • empty the cutlery basket, placing the cutlery in appropriate containers – not randomly in any open drawer
  • use common sense to find suitable alternative venues: stacked-on-the-worktops is not an acceptable place
  •  re-fill the dishwasher with the mountain of dirty crockery/cutlery  left on the side because the dishwasher wasn’t emptied
  • will perform this task without recourse to moaning, grumbling or go-slow tactics (except in a light-hearted manner intended to cause amusement whilst getting on with it)

The employers of said D.D.O. (hereby known as The Parents) undertake to:

  • allow the D.D.O. to live
  • provide heating, lighting, accommodation,  a share of the household food & drink and other sundries to the D.D.O.

Character building

We’ve been looking at character and back-story at West Dean College. Here some ideas  which could be useful. Some are probably familiar – but others may help.

Interrogation – get a writing friend to quiz you, go all Mastermind and make sure know them better than a Wikipedia entry!

 

Musical mindset – is your character a Beethoven sonata in a plainchant world? Bebop or folk?

 

Headspace – if you could map the phrenology of your character, what would each bump mean? What symbols would you use?

Try out some textures – what do they feel like? Chamois leather, birchbark, sea glass. In different moods -cork, or slate or thistledown?

 

Cultural refs – is your central character a Renaissance Prince in a Revenger’s Tragedy? (Greg Mosse about Hamlet) A Goth in Cranford or Boadicea in Disneyland?

Gallery – a Caspar David Friedrich surrounded by Gainsboroughs, a David Hockney among Vermeers?

Roll up, roll up …

1.The Spider and The Lantern

We have a yukimigata or snow viewing lantern set in our pond. We also have a gooseberry bush growing amongst the pebbles on the bank. One early Autumn day I spotted that a beautiful orb web linked the two. In the middle was a large-bodied spider of the sort with brocade for a back. How on earth had it created the web?

Did it swim across to the lantern on its little island pulling its silk behind it? Did make a raft? Parachute in? Persuade one of the koi to give it a lift? Or ping off the goosegog branches like a catapult? I wish I could draw the spider’s methods.

2.  Killer Budgie

A mild- mannered budgerigar gains a new cage -with the legend Killer Budgie on it.  He finds he has a roulette wheel – at which he excels – winning enough money for his mistress to indulge his mistress’s other passion: horseriding. They go out on the pony together – what happens next?

3. Tiddles the Seagull

There’s a rustling in your fireplace. You look up into the chimney and find a fledgling seagull, covered in ash. You put him on the roof for his mum and dad to find. The wind blows him off again. You rescue him again and feed him cat food because that’s what you have. He likes it. He makes friends with your pet cats and sleeps in their basket.  He grows and flies away. So sad. Then he returns with the missus and nests on your roof six months of the year. There are more baby seagulls.

4 My name is Jack.

Hello. My name is Jack, Jack Russell. I’m at the seaside to-day. What fun. I like running. I like chasing the ball. I like my master. He brings me to this windy place. We play with the ball.

Oh dear, the ball’s gone. I must fetch it. I must fetch it for my kind master. Oh, look , there it is. I will jump down and get it. I will jump and fetch the ball.

This is a big jump. This is good grass down here. I am pleased. I have got the ball for my master. I can hear him calling. I must fetch the ball for my master. This is a big jump. I will try again.This is a very big jump. I will try again. I can hear master calling me  again.

This is too big a jump. I will sleep.

I do not like the cold. I do not like the rain. I do not like the dark . Where is my master?

There is a light. I am pleased. It will be my master.

It is not my master. I am sad. The light has gone away. I am sad but I will wait. My master will come for me. I will sleep.

The sun is up. I am awake waiting for my master.  I do not like the wind. I do not like the rain. When will my master come?

There is another man. He is near me. He is not my master. Perhaps he will take me to my master?

He is a nice man. He takes me with him up the cliff.  I am happy.

There is my master. I am very happy. I am so very happy it makes my tail ache.

Why does my master cry?

Poetry pleas

First off, let me beg you to buy some poetry. Don’t just download it, please. Poets have to eat, too.

Change from schoolmistressy voice to reflective.

Here are some poems  you might like to try or revisit  – the first few that sprang to mind which have a vague connection to the theme of home – and one of mine.

Might I suggest a little Gerard Manley Hopkins – “Inversnaid “? 

The heartfelt entreaty of  “What would the world be, once bereft/Of wet and of wilderness?” speaks to me of the moorland that I love in my Yorkshire homeland. I studied GMH out of sheer perversity ( ‘The Wreck of the Deutschland’ with Miss Grey at Wakefield Girls’ High School) – and grew to love him. The intensity of his feelings, the texture of his words, almost crunchy in their concentration, and the sheer weird beauty of sprung rhythm.

Secondly, John Donne: “The Sunne Rising”. Another passionate priest. Hear the power of romantic love contemptuous of anything that distracts  “Nor houres, dayes, months, which are the rags of time.” I like my Donne unfiltered, I hear him better through the original spelling: “saucy pedantique wretch”. Is there any  better distillation of ‘home’ than being in bed with the one you love?

I have no qualms about reproducing this one on the same theme – I think the copyright’s well and truly gone!

O Western Wind
Anon, 14th century

O Western wind, when wilt thou blow
That the small rain down can rain?
Christ, if my love were in my arms
And I in my bed again.

Anon is a favourite poet – I cannot resist the bleakness of “The Lyke Wake Dirge” for one ( another bit of grim Northernness) – “Fire and fleet and candleleet and Christ receive thy soul”  .

Being inside in foul weather seems to be a theme: I love “Wind” by Ted Hughes. Who can beat the directness of “This house has been far out at sea all night” ? It’s the vigour of his work that gets me.  “The Remains of Elmet” with the haunting photographs by Fay Godwin is a much-loved book.

You will probably have guessed by now I like unsentimental nature poetry so George Mackay Brown, RS Thomas, John Clare and  DH Lawrence get an honourable mention but Edward Thomas never fails to move me. His works are as delicate and deep as the etchings of Robin Tanner. I immediately thought of “Tall Nettles” – Asquith’s farm behind my home in Wakefield had a machinery graveyard I loved.

And to end with – a poem that I wrote which was published in the same anthology as two by Simon Armitage, no less. Only because we both had a Huddersfield connection at the time, I have to confess. Author’s Note: Ellis Laithe is a place, not a person (laithe is a Viking word for a barn, and shippon is dialect for a cow house).

To Ellis Laithe – a Conversation

Which way did you go?

           Through a green gate sagging between stone pillars

           Like a drunk between his silent friends.

What was in the garden?

           Stacked slates drowning under nettle spires,

          Snow-and-sulphur tongued flags just linger,

          Like the crusted pear.

          Some outbuildings;

         Open mouthed coalscuttles,

         Gagged with rosebay willow herb.

Anything new?

         Only soaring thistles prickling the mothy air,

        And the gaudy burnet clustered on them.

        Some catpiss elders teem,

        And flittering tortoiseshells snap shut,

        On the hugely domed Fool’s Parsley.

Did you hear anything?

        Only the arguing spugs’ echo in the dustrailed shippon,

        And grit swilling down the gutter stone.

Who is in the house now?

         A grasping bramble had crossed the doorstep, no more.

Did you see aught of mine?

          In the kitchen, spiderstring nets cross the windowlight,

          Falling through a stalactite-papered ceiling,

         And in a mote-speckled spotlight lies

         One single laceless crumpled boot;

         A bleary sheen of mildew on the toe,

         And the dark slit of a peeling heel

         Distinguish it.

Goodbye old friend,

I’ll not visit there again,

Except in memory.

         It would be best.

Rosemary Tate … from ‘An Anthology of Local Poetry’, Huddersfield Polytechnic 1985